Monday, April 16, 2012

31 Days to a Thankful Heart

Purpose: This "challenge" is because I(we) feel like our kids are spoiled. They hardly ever think of others. They have hardly ever done without anything in their lives. When you think of foster kids you normally wouldn't think this? Or maybe we are just in denial, I don't know. I know probably 99% of kids today are spoiled rotten.

When we first decided to do foster care, we were so excited about being able to make a child happy. To see their face light up about something, anything really. We wanted to be the house that they didn't want to leave because it was safe, fun, and loving.

So far I haven't seen our kids faces light up about anything that we have gave, or done for them. Trust me when I say that we have gave, and done, and tried to be that house.

But it all goes back to their previous life and their previous foster home(s).

Sure they were taken away for a reason, a very reasonable reason. I do not doubt for a minute that they still have issues regarding those reasons. They were basically raised by their grandma, and their great grandma. The mom or someone provided any possible toys or goodies that they could possibly want. The grandma(s) fed them as much as they could and what ever they wanted.

At their last foster home, it was basically the same thing. The mom or someone would provide them with any possible goodies or toys that the could want, and the foster parents would feed them as much food as they wanted.

So when they get to our house, they think we should continue this ritual. Except for mom's not in the picture anymore. We think video games are pointless, and therefore they don't get to play them. We don't over feed them. They have chores that they have to do and have to do to the best of their abilities. WE have gave them A LOT. We have done a lot for them.

They say the mandatory "thank yous" but you can tell in their hearts that they don't mean it. You can tell by their actions that they just want more. You can tell by their selfish natures that they think that we have to give them these things.

I want them to think about others, to pray for others. I want them to know how blessed they are to live like they have lived. Honestly I don't know how else to reach their hearts. I am praying for each of them during the next 31 days. For each task that they have to complete and also for other personal things for each child.


1. You must do exactly what is listed for that day and what is on your paper.
2. You will complete the "How did you feel" and the "Who can you pray for" at the end of everyday.
3. These are things that you will not get to do during the next 31 days:
  • Go Carts
  • Movies/TV
  • Fun family Outings
  • Eating out at any Restaurant
  • Wasting of anything
  • No surprises or gifts of any kind
  • No extra anything!
4. You will think of others during the next 31 days, and put yourself last at everything.
5. You will not pray for yourself at any time, this includes "Thank you God for letting us have a good time ________." Pray for other people!
6. You will name one person by name and pray for their specific problem on a daily basis!

Each day they are to do with out one item that we use on a daily basis. Here is a list of the daily items that they will have to do without.

Day 1: Toothbrush
Day 2: Air Conditioner/Heater
Day 3: Deodorant
Day 4: Hairbrushes
Day 5: Snacks
Day 6: Toys
Day 7: Shoes
Day 8: Hot Meals
Day 9: Beds
Day 10: Friends
Day 11: Hot Water
Day 12: Roof to Sleep Under
Day 13: Chairs
Day 14: Siblings
Day 15: Electricity
Day 16: Cold Drinks
Day 17: Shampoo
Day 18: Blankets
Day 19: Talking
Day 20: Washing Machine & Dryer
Day 21: Indoor Plumbing
Day 22: Socks
Day 23: Parents
Day 24: Towels
Day 25: Pillows
Day 26: Lights
Day 27: Extra Clothes
Day 28: Soap
Day 29: Ready to cook food
Day 30: Silverware
Day 31: Jesus  

Update on the Kids (With No Real News)

So it seems like I really don't have any information on any of my kids!! We are in the adoption process for all 3 kids. They haven't shown any kind of excitement about the adoption, but on the same note they haven't shown any rebellion about the adoption!

We started the adoption process in January of this year. When we first met with the adoption worker she told us to not to expect the adoption to go through anytime soon. It will be awhile.

This makes me so mad. In fact the more I think about it the madder I get. (Could be hormones, or it could just be the fact that life is unfair!)

These kids have been in care for 31 months. Parental rights were not terminated until they had been in care for 27 months. None of the parents were doing anything to "work" their cases. The mother did show up to every visit up until the time that the kids came to live with us and she had to put a little effort into actually getting to the visits. At that time she randomly showed up. Other than that though she didn't have an other step completed for her case plan.

I just don't understand why it should "have" to take that long? I do think if the parent(s) are working their case or even attempting their case plan then they should be given every opportunity. Anyways I will stop ranting now!

The adoption worker is a "By the Books" type of person! Which means she shows up every moth to our house. She talks to each of the kids separately, gives us a "non-update" and then leaves.

The kids are doing really good in School this year.

I has made the AB Honor Roll for the past 3 Nine Weeks.
S has made the A Honor Roll for the past 3 Nine Weeks.
M gets numbers and hasn't made any bad numbers so far this year! (Big improvement from last year!)

I will confess that I haven't pushed them this year on homework like I did last year. The still do the required homework, and some extra homework, but are usually done within 30 minutes. I just kind of feel like their school isn't teaching them and that why they are still in public school it's a waste of our time. They spend 8 hours in school playing around and learning the bare minimum, and for me to cram everything I want them to know down their throats after school is brutal and takes hours. I do want to home school them and they think it is exciting, but according to their adoption worker, until we adopt them they have to stay in public school. So unfair.

Attitudes come and go. But usually come around the time they know court, or a FTC meeting, or the adoption worker is coming up. Sometimes I get so outdone with them (mostly S). But I don't feel like it would be fair if we "gave" up on them because of bad attitudes and a moment of anger.

They all seem to be excited about the baby. M most of all! He asks almost daily about the baby growing. He also watches out for things that could hurt the baby... me moving anything heavy, loud noises that could scare the baby, unhealthy foods. It's so funny!

Well that is about it on the kids.

I do have a 31 Days to a Thankful Heart challenge that I made up for them and will be posting about that later! (Possibly after dinner, if it sits well!)

Baby Update WIth No "Real" Update!

Ok so I don't really have anything to update on the baby. No new pictures or anything like that though. So I thought I might answer some questions that I saw on Rachel from In No Simple Language's Blog. It's so exciting to see everyone pregnant along with myself!!!

How far along are you? I am 11 weeks today!

When are you due? I am due November 5th.

When did you find out? I found out on February 27th and could not keep it a secret once it was confirmed by a doctor!

Are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Initially I thought we would wait until the baby was born to find out, but it would be so hard to wait much less prepare for an unknown baby! So I think we are going to find out around 20 weeks!!

Do you have any names picked out? Yes, I have girl names picked out. Derreck is suppose to name it if it's a boy but he doesn't think he needs to worry about boy names because he thinks it's a girl. He only thinks this though because he knows how badly I have wanted to name a girl. And I'm not sharing the names yet!

Have you seen the baby yet? Yes, I have received 2 ultra sounds but the first you could only see the gestational sac. The second you could see a wee little baby with the heart flickering. So sweet to see how much it can grow in just a few weeks!

How have you been feeling? So-So!! I do have morning sickness, but it is not a respecter of time!! It comes at all hours, but mainly when my tummy is completely empty. I am also tired a lot!!! These two symptoms I am not a fan or even remotely use to!!! LOL Usually if a stomach bug hits our house, I avoid it. Very seldom do I throw up. I hate to throw up! As for the tiredness, I just feel plain lazy, but don't have the get up and go that I usually have! So I do tend to rest WAY more than I use to!

Reality still hasn't really set in I don't think! It's all so new and foreign to me (and I am sure to Derreck too!) We are still super excited for this miracle and although it does seem like a rough start, I am so very thankful! I do not want to rush any minute of this pregnancy! I have waited for a very long time to feel a baby growing inside me, and although I can't feel anything yet...I am waiting!!!