Up Date on Kids

We finally have a new adoption worker.

She made a visit last week and stayed all of 10 minutes after driving an hour and a half. She has turned everything over to the attorney.

I have spoke to the attorney's office and once we are able to get a piece of paper notarized and back to them, they will send the information to the judge...

And then we just have to wait on a court date!!

So not too much longer and they will be ours and they will be done with case workers and visits and crazy behaviors leading up to these events (or after these events).

They start school in a little over a week, which the boys say they are not ready for, and S. says she is ready for.

Me personally...SO READY!!!

They are driving me crazy. And I keep wandering, how in the world do you plan on home schooling them once you can? I'm praying about that one ! HA!!

I definitely want to home school them, that is not the problem.

The problem lies in the fact of how in the world am I going to do everything that needs to be done, plus have a baby, plus have them underfoot all the time. I make let them go outside every chance they can to play. But honestly they don't know how to "play". Weird I know. But really they will just walk around the yard forever, doing absolutely nothing, with the exception of M.

M on the other hand gets into EVERYTHING! No joke... and it is so frustrating when you go to look for something and it's not in it's rightful place, and "NO ONE" knows how it came up missing or where it could possibly be. Then days later it mysteriously reappears to it's original spot!

Anyways, I know that God will provide me what I need in order to home school the kids! Including patience!!!

Almost 26 Weeks

Almost 26 Weeks

I think this is going by way faster than I imagined it to go...
I would like for it to slow down a little...

I actually went to the doctor again yesterday and everything looked good!

We found out the gender on June 29th and we are have a...

BOY!!!!

And we finally have a name for our little man!

Israel James

How far along: 25 weeks 5 days

Size of baby: About 13.5 inches long and weighs about 1.5 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: +3 lbs

Gender: BOY!!
Movement: Yes, and it's even crazier that I can see the baby moving now. (If I could only get a good video of it to send to Derreck!)

Sleep: Mostly good.

Maternity Clothes: I did purchase some and wear the bottoms the most. I can still make some of my skirts work for a few hours before they get too tight feeling.

Symptoms: Lots of growing pains! Still some nausea (BOO!!!). Lots of tenderness on days that I tend to over do physically.

Cravings: Strawberry Milk is delicious!!

What I miss: I am very thankful for this little miracle, but sometimes I just don't feel like this body is mine! Things have changed so much already that it is just crazy! But I don't miss anything, and would gladly do it again!!

Best moment this week: Feeling all these movements, even through the day!! Makes it feel more real to me!

What I am looking forward to: Derreck coming home and being able to see the baby move for himself! I miss that man, and being pregnant is not helping with the emotional aspect of him having to work away from home! Oh and school starts in a little over a week, so I will have a little more free time to start working on some baby things!!

Update on Kids Adoption

Well! The kids adoption worker retired... She couldn't give us an estimate on how long it would for them to give us an replacement adoption worker.

She also couldn't give us an estimate on how long before the adoption would be finalized.

We also told her that I was pregnant at this visit that she informed us about all of this.

I think she felt bad, or guilty or something because she did everything she could to speed the process up. She completed all paper work that needed to be signed by us. We signed everything and turned it into the temporary adoption worker today. She didn't know anything about any of the paper work being completed so she was really relieved.

She said it would definitely be before Christmas, but most likely after school started back.

I want it done before the baby is born, that way they are "ours" and know that they aren't going anywhere!

Things seem  to have settled down behavior wise lately. 2 of the 3 ended up getting on trouble today for things that they know better not to do. I blame this on the adoption workers visit. No offense to her or anything, but that's just how things go. But neither kid flipped out like they did in the past.

S leaves for camp this next Monday. Both boys leave for camp the following Monday. I need a break! LOL

I hate the idea of respite visits, so that is not an option for us. If I can't leave them with family members that we trust then I don't want to leave them with any stranger that is "trusted" by the state. I am sorry but not all foster parents measure up to our standards. To be completely honest, I hate leaving them with anyone, just because of how they act when they come back home. I am hoping and praying that camp doesn't leave them with any bad attitudes that I will have to deal with, because like I said before...I need a break!

M passed to the 3rd grade, and made fairly good grades on his report card. In fact he never dropped any grades , and improved on a lot of them!

S almost made straight A's all year long! But ended up with 1 B the last 9 weeks. On the state testing she received 1 Mastery, 2 Advanced, and 1 Basic. For someone that is sometimes really "Blonde" she is one smart girl!

I almost made AB Honor Roll all year long, but ended up with 1 C the last 9 weeks. Not really sure what happened there, but pretty sure it had something to do with him not studying like he needed to. On state testing he received 2 Advanced and 2 Basic. Pretty good.

The adoption worker seemed surprised that the kids did so well on their report cards...I am guessing this is not normal "foster care" behavior. But these kids are REALLY smart! The have so much potential, and can do so much with it if they just try! I will say that M might not make as good grades as the other two, but that doesn't mean that boy is lacking! Give him some tools and something mechanical and I bet (if I was a betting person) that he could have it figured out before a lot of grown men could! (And he's only 8!!!) But he does make good grades when he tried his hardest!

I am proud of how far these kids have come in the year and a half that we have had them. Sometimes I forget to tell them things like this, but I have been trying to be intentional on saying positive things to encourage them. It seems to be working!

19 WEEK UPDATE

19 Weeks!!!!

Crazy!!

I actually went to the doctor on June 5th, so this is a little late.

No bump pictures, I just hate pictures and don't see the need to post pictures of myself. I do take a picture of the baby bump every now and then and send to Derreck. He is gone for so long at a time for work that sometimes things change like crazy, and are still so hard to believe!!

How far along: 19 weeks 2 days

Size of baby: A mango? Who knows really? One app will say one thing and then another will say another thing. But we will stick with a mango, just because it seems almost reasonable!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: -6 pounds

Gender: We will find out June 29th!! I can't wait and get more excited everyday.

Movement: Oh yeah!!! It's crazy to think that there is a baby in there doing all that moving around. (Especially the size of a mango, and I can feel it!)

Sleep: Sometimes is really good, sometimes is really bad. I only need naps on the really bad days now where as at first I was so exhausted I needed one everyday.

Maternity Clothes: I did purchase some and wear the bottoms the most. I can still make some of my skirts work for a few hours before they get too tight feeling.

Symptoms: Lots of growing pains! Still some nausea, especially today for some reason. Lots of tenderness on days that I tend to over do physically.

Cravings: I don't really crave too much, and most of the time when I think something sounds really good, if I wait long enough the urge will pass. I do enjoy fruit a lot though. Who knew fresh cherries could taste so good!

What I miss: I am very thankful for this little miracle, but sometimes I just don't feel like this body is mine! Things have changed so much already that it is just crazy!

Best moment this week: Feeling all these movements, even through the day!! Makes it feel more real to me!

What I am looking forward to: Derreck coming home and being able to feel the baby move for himself! I miss that man, and being pregnant is not helping with the emotional aspect of him having to work away from home!

31 Days to a Thankful Heart

Purpose: This "challenge" is because I(we) feel like our kids are spoiled. They hardly ever think of others. They have hardly ever done without anything in their lives. When you think of foster kids you normally wouldn't think this? Or maybe we are just in denial, I don't know. I know probably 99% of kids today are spoiled rotten.

When we first decided to do foster care, we were so excited about being able to make a child happy. To see their face light up about something, anything really. We wanted to be the house that they didn't want to leave because it was safe, fun, and loving.

So far I haven't seen our kids faces light up about anything that we have gave, or done for them. Trust me when I say that we have gave, and done, and tried to be that house.

But it all goes back to their previous life and their previous foster home(s).

Sure they were taken away for a reason, a very reasonable reason. I do not doubt for a minute that they still have issues regarding those reasons. They were basically raised by their grandma, and their great grandma. The mom or someone provided any possible toys or goodies that they could possibly want. The grandma(s) fed them as much as they could and what ever they wanted.

At their last foster home, it was basically the same thing. The mom or someone would provide them with any possible goodies or toys that the could want, and the foster parents would feed them as much food as they wanted.

So when they get to our house, they think we should continue this ritual. Except for mom's not in the picture anymore. We think video games are pointless, and therefore they don't get to play them. We don't over feed them. They have chores that they have to do and have to do to the best of their abilities. WE have gave them A LOT. We have done a lot for them.

They say the mandatory "thank yous" but you can tell in their hearts that they don't mean it. You can tell by their actions that they just want more. You can tell by their selfish natures that they think that we have to give them these things.

I want them to think about others, to pray for others. I want them to know how blessed they are to live like they have lived. Honestly I don't know how else to reach their hearts. I am praying for each of them during the next 31 days. For each task that they have to complete and also for other personal things for each child.

Rules:

1. You must do exactly what is listed for that day and what is on your paper.
2. You will complete the "How did you feel" and the "Who can you pray for" at the end of everyday.
3. These are things that you will not get to do during the next 31 days:

• Go Carts
• Movies/TV
• Fun family Outings
• Eating out at any Restaurant
• Wasting of anything
• No surprises or gifts of any kind
• No extra anything!

4. You will think of others during the next 31 days, and put yourself last at everything.
5. You will not pray for yourself at any time, this includes "Thank you God for letting us have a good time ________." Pray for other people!
6. You will name one person by name and pray for their specific problem on a daily basis!

Each day they are to do with out one item that we use on a daily basis. Here is a list of the daily items that they will have to do without.

Day 1: Toothbrush
Day 2: Air Conditioner/Heater
Day 3: Deodorant
Day 4: Hairbrushes
Day 5: Snacks
Day 6: Toys
Day 7: Shoes
Day 8: Hot Meals
Day 9: Beds
Day 10: Friends
Day 11: Hot Water
Day 12: Roof to Sleep Under
Day 13: Chairs
Day 14: Siblings
Day 15: Electricity
Day 16: Cold Drinks
Day 17: Shampoo
Day 18: Blankets
Day 19: Talking
Day 20: Washing Machine & Dryer
Day 21: Indoor Plumbing
Day 22: Socks
Day 23: Parents
Day 24: Towels
Day 25: Pillows
Day 26: Lights
Day 27: Extra Clothes
Day 28: Soap
Day 29: Ready to cook food
Day 30: Silverware
Day 31: Jesus  

Update on the Kids (With No Real News)

So it seems like I really don't have any information on any of my kids!! We are in the adoption process for all 3 kids. They haven't shown any kind of excitement about the adoption, but on the same note they haven't shown any rebellion about the adoption!

We started the adoption process in January of this year. When we first met with the adoption worker she told us to not to expect the adoption to go through anytime soon. It will be awhile.

This makes me so mad. In fact the more I think about it the madder I get. (Could be hormones, or it could just be the fact that life is unfair!)

These kids have been in care for 31 months. Parental rights were not terminated until they had been in care for 27 months. None of the parents were doing anything to "work" their cases. The mother did show up to every visit up until the time that the kids came to live with us and she had to put a little effort into actually getting to the visits. At that time she randomly showed up. Other than that though she didn't have an other step completed for her case plan.

I just don't understand why it should "have" to take that long? I do think if the parent(s) are working their case or even attempting their case plan then they should be given every opportunity. Anyways I will stop ranting now!

The adoption worker is a "By the Books" type of person! Which means she shows up every moth to our house. She talks to each of the kids separately, gives us a "non-update" and then leaves.

The kids are doing really good in School this year.

I has made the AB Honor Roll for the past 3 Nine Weeks.
S has made the A Honor Roll for the past 3 Nine Weeks.
M gets numbers and hasn't made any bad numbers so far this year! (Big improvement from last year!)

I will confess that I haven't pushed them this year on homework like I did last year. The still do the required homework, and some extra homework, but are usually done within 30 minutes. I just kind of feel like their school isn't teaching them and that why they are still in public school it's a waste of our time. They spend 8 hours in school playing around and learning the bare minimum, and for me to cram everything I want them to know down their throats after school is brutal and takes hours. I do want to home school them and they think it is exciting, but according to their adoption worker, until we adopt them they have to stay in public school. So unfair.

Attitudes come and go. But usually come around the time they know court, or a FTC meeting, or the adoption worker is coming up. Sometimes I get so outdone with them (mostly S). But I don't feel like it would be fair if we "gave" up on them because of bad attitudes and a moment of anger.

They all seem to be excited about the baby. M most of all! He asks almost daily about the baby growing. He also watches out for things that could hurt the baby... me moving anything heavy, loud noises that could scare the baby, unhealthy foods. It's so funny!

Well that is about it on the kids.

I do have a 31 Days to a Thankful Heart challenge that I made up for them and will be posting about that later! (Possibly after dinner, if it sits well!)

Baby Update WIth No "Real" Update!

Ok so I don't really have anything to update on the baby. No new pictures or anything like that though. So I thought I might answer some questions that I saw on Rachel from In No Simple Language's Blog. It's so exciting to see everyone pregnant along with myself!!!

How far along are you? I am 11 weeks today!

When are you due? I am due November 5th.

When did you find out? I found out on February 27th and could not keep it a secret once it was confirmed by a doctor!

Are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Initially I thought we would wait until the baby was born to find out, but it would be so hard to wait much less prepare for an unknown baby! So I think we are going to find out around 20 weeks!!

Do you have any names picked out? Yes, I have girl names picked out. Derreck is suppose to name it if it's a boy but he doesn't think he needs to worry about boy names because he thinks it's a girl. He only thinks this though because he knows how badly I have wanted to name a girl. And I'm not sharing the names yet!

Have you seen the baby yet? Yes, I have received 2 ultra sounds but the first you could only see the gestational sac. The second you could see a wee little baby with the heart flickering. So sweet to see how much it can grow in just a few weeks!

How have you been feeling? So-So!! I do have morning sickness, but it is not a respecter of time!! It comes at all hours, but mainly when my tummy is completely empty. I am also tired a lot!!! These two symptoms I am not a fan or even remotely use to!!! LOL Usually if a stomach bug hits our house, I avoid it. Very seldom do I throw up. I hate to throw up! As for the tiredness, I just feel plain lazy, but don't have the get up and go that I usually have! So I do tend to rest WAY more than I use to!

Reality still hasn't really set in I don't think! It's all so new and foreign to me (and I am sure to Derreck too!) We are still super excited for this miracle and although it does seem like a rough start, I am so very thankful! I do not want to rush any minute of this pregnancy! I have waited for a very long time to feel a baby growing inside me, and although I can't feel anything yet...I am waiting!!!

Miracles

Do you believe God still performs miracles today? You have the miracles that were performed in the Bible. Great miracles like...

Moses parting the Red Sea in order to escape the Egyptians. (Exodus 14)

Lazarus being raised from the dead after four days by Jesus. (John 11)

Daniel being cast into the den of lions, but didnt' get ate by them. (Daniel 6)

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego being cast into the fiery furnace and not being consumed. (Daniel 3)

All the miracles that Jesus performed in the Bible!

How many women were blessed with a baby long after they had given up hope?

Sarah
Hannah
Elizabeth

Just to name a few!

Can God still do miracles like this today?

This picture says...Oh boy HE can!!! And does!!!

As of today, I am 7 weeks 1 day pregnant. Truly a miracle in it's self! When I was 14 I was in a wreck, where I had to receive emergency surgery. Doctors told my aunt that it would be best to go ahead and plan my funeral the next day. (The doctor obviously didn't know the peace that I had during all of this or the God that heals!) Once they realized I was not dieing and in fact getting better and at a faster rate than they thought possible, they told my aunt and my mother that I would never have kids.

That's all they said about it too. No explanations, no reasons. Just no kids.

There isn't even any mention of anything reproductive wise in my records. Nothing.

When we got married, we decided that we wanted kids immediately. Since we have been married we have never used anything that would prevent us from having a baby. Month after month went by, and still no baby. Not even a reason to take a pregnancy test. No explanations, no reasons.

We have never "gave up" or even "relaxed" on wanting to have a baby. Sometimes the "No's" didn't seem to hurt as bad as the others but each one was still a disappointment. But then the next one would hit 10 times as hard. How do you possibly give up on something you want so bad? Do you think Sarah gave up while she was within the child bearing age? I don't!

I've never been to a doctor to find out why we couldn't have babies. I never felt "led" to. It's not something that we wanted to do. But we still had hope that one day we would have a baby.

We do have kids in our house, thanks to foster care. They will soon be "our" kids. But we/I still wanted a baby of our own. We wanted a baby more now, I think, than we did to begin with, if that makes any sense. Ten years we have tried to have a baby. Ten years God gave us "no" after "no". Exactly 10 years from the day we were married, we were blessed with a miracle baby.A baby only God could have given us!

Ten years...

is a mighty long time.

But even though Jesus was four days late getting to Lazarus, Lazarus was still raised from the dead! So God was just in time in my opinion!

I know this post doesn't seem joyful, or exuberant, or anything like that. I am all of those, I promise!

You wouldn't believe the excitement I felt when I seen "pregnant" on the pregnancy test.
You wouldn't believe the excitement I felt when I sent Derreck an email of that test.
(Or the excitement when he didn't call immediately!)
You wouldn't believe the excitement when I went to the health unit for them to do a test to confirm it.
You wouldn't believe the excitement I felt when I went to the doctor for the initial visit.
You wouldn't believe the excitement I felt when they did the first ultra sound and all we could see was a black circle.
You wouldn't believe the excitement I felt when they did the second ultra sound 2 weeks later and I got to see our tiny baby.
(Or the excitement that I felt when I seen that tiny babies heart beating!)

Unless you have been through the waiting like we have.

It's all so exciting.

It's all so overwhelming.

It's all because of the glory of GOD!!!!

Gentleness Challenge Weeks 2-3

Gentleness Challenge

I didn't intentionally miss last weeks post! This mama needed a break, so I went to Pennsylvania to spend a few days with Derreck. I'll do a post on that trip in a few days. (Hopefully!)

With the long over due break, I got some quite time with myself and some much needed time with Mister Perry. I came home tired, but a good tired. I really did miss the kids while I was gone, and actually felt bad for leaving them. Maybe I am starting to get really attached to them. (Once again, Hopefully!)

This weeks challenge is Anger Management...

OH BOY!

It seems like the times that I get the absolute angriest is when I am in a hurry and the kids don't seem to understand the importance of "Let's get going." I get frustrated because they are dawdling, they get frustrated because I am rushing them. No one wins. We  I end up yelling and fussing, and someone always ends up crying mostly me.

This week I am going to go through Proverbs like Courtney suggested and mark all the verses about how I should communicate with others. Most of the time, I really good at being nice to strangers or other people. It's those that I am closest to that get to witness all of this rage I have. So I will be working on talking nicely to everyone!

I have wrote Proverbs 15:1 on my mirror in my room, to help me memorize and to serve as a reminder of using gentle words throughout the day.

Oh I forgot to mention, that I think the kids know about this challenge and are doing their best to try to get a rise out of me...

For example:

1. You wouldn't believe how many times I have had to repeat myself to them the past few days. (I have gotten to where I just relay the message using the nearest kid, that way I am not raising my voice. The message may or may not reach the intended kid...)

2.  They are trying me with questions. Hundreds of questions. They aren't the normal Why? questions though. They ask questions about crazy stuff that doesn't even make sense. I just don't get it.

3. They are doing things like, sneaking in (yep you read that right --in--) the window, for no apparent reason. They were free to come and go as they pleased today, so why not use the front door? I just don't get it.

4. The arguing. Oh, my. I know that this is crazy to say or type or whatever, but these kids don't fight and argue with each other constantly like "normal" brothers and sisters. My sister and I would have daily, sometimes hourly battles! But the past few days they have been at each other non-stop.

I just keep reminding myself...

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!

Our Christmas Ornaments Over the Years!

Our Christmas Ornaments Over the Years!

Every year Derreck and I pick out one ornament that is "ours." We usually try to pick something that has something Biblical on it. We only have one ornament that doesn't and it was from way back when we were newly weds. So here are "our" ornaments!

 2001 (We were dating)

2002

2003



2004

2005





2006 (My Favorite!)

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011 









The Kids Ornaments 2011

Kids Ornaments 2011

I know it's past Christmas, but since I haven't taken down the Christmas Tree yet, I wanted to do a post about the ornaments that the kids made for 2011.

To get us started all three made a few of these:

These are the ones M made:

These are the ones S made:

These are the ones that I made:



Bring in the Gentleness Challenge for 2012

Gentleness Challenge

Once again Courtney from Women Living Well is being used by God to challenge women to become more gentle towards their kids. Boy oh Boy do I need this! Like a chunky kid wants chocolate cake!  I hate the person that I have become this past year. I've became this horrible yelling, nagging, mean spirited woman that nobody (even myself) likes. I then wander why I can't reach these kids or even my husband for that matter.

When we first started the process of Fostering to Adopt, my husband and I wanted our house to be the safe haven that any kid that came to us needed. The place where they know that they are loved, they know that they are safe. The place where they can have fun and just be kids. We knew that it wouldn't be easy, that we would have to discipline the kids, that they would come with their own problems. But we had so much hope that we could be a happy family. That we could teach them of God's love for them most importantly.

This past year has been HARD. Really hard. I will even say that it has been the hardest on me since Derreck and I have been married. I have struggled A LOT! Not just with the kids, but with Derreck, and even with myself. I have came to the point where I just wanted to give up, make the call to their worker and be done with it. Let our marriage go back to like it was before kids. (I said it's been HARD!) But every time I do I hear God whisper, "You are all they have Ginger."

We are all they have. If God didn't want them in our house then He wouldn't of placed them in our house. They might not even want to be here, and probably don't most of the time. But then there are times when I see them happy and playing with Derreck and I think, "We can be a real family one day."

I want to win their hearts, so that I can teach their hearts about God. About His love for them. If I can't win their hearts, then they won't even know what it is like to be loved unconditionally. They won't ever understand the love that God has to offer. I don't care if they never call me mom, Ginger is fine. I just want them to love me. I want to love them. I want them to know God's love.

This is why I am going to join this challenge. This is why I NEED this challenge. I want to be gentle to the kids, to my husband, and to God this year and all the years to follow! I can't change any of them, but I can change myself and ask God to work in my life.